With the weather promising an on/off game at best, stand-in skipper for the day, Pippa, declined Shackleford's offer of a limited overs thrash on the basis that the inevitable rain breaks would make a nonsense of the format. Better, he argued, to rely on the respective skippers' finer judgement to juggle the situation to manufacture a competitive, exciting game. Toss lost, the Cryptics promptly posted 215-7 in 42 overs untroubled by rain.

The opening pair of Wright and Hogben - restored for the first time since the Platypods debacle - saw themselves comfortably outscored by wides (16 the final tally) before Hoggers managed to pull a short one onto his middle stump on 6. Pippa followed for 17, having almost hit (top-edged) his first 6 since 1992, long-leg taking a fine diving catch at deep backstop.

This brought in Scott to join an up-to-then-watchful Simon Parrish, promoted to the three slot in only his second Cryptic appearance. The 56 partnership that saw the 100 up in the 24th over was evenly split, despite it looking like Parrish's circumspect rapier to Scott's cultured bludgeon.

And talking of bludgeons, Scott's failure to pick a rare straight one brought Highland He-Man, Tommy Hope-Dunbar to the crease just one over after Shackleford skipper Blundell-Jones had resorted to spin. Anyone hazard a guess at what happened next? Hope-Dunbar; Blundell-Jones: four names (all foreign); two hyphens; one result.

When H-D departed fewer than six overs later, he had added 36 runs, the Cryptics 59, and some of his belligerence had rubbed off on Parrish, who cruised to his 50. Mousinho Snr came and went and would not have claimed even to have got close to hitting the one to which he was adjudged LBW. PAJA had rather the same feeling when he was given out caught behind. The pool umpire was on a roll, however: he obviously had a firm grasp of all the laws and was keen to apply the whole lot at some stage during the course of the game.  A back-foot no-balling of a non-plussed Shackleford bowler was the zenith, 'one-shorts' in both innings rather tame. Just why it took him until the third over of the second innings to signal 'dead-ball' was a mystery to most.

Mousinho Jnr came in for a classy, if brief, 14* and when the seemingly tireless Parrish finally ran himself out for 80, Goss arrived for his weekly cheap not-out. Only 5 this time, but his average must fast be approaching 50.

With tea pencilled in for five o'clock (and history dictates that tea waits for no man in Shackleford), Skipper Pippa declared at five-to, only because he was too short-sighted to see that England youth soccer sensation Mousinho had been quicker than expected and not been run out after all.

A spot of fatherling teatime cajoling saw said Junior discover a previously undetected muscle tweak. His resultant volunteering to be gloveman for the day had nothing to do with the fact dad was going to have to do it otherwise. Obviously.

And a fine job he did as well, snaffling one early on off Goss (11-3-32-3), who was heard to comment that it made a pleasant change to have a keeper who moved his feet rather than just sticking a big glove out. Mmm, could be his last caught behind for a while then.

Nick Pow opened up at the other end, bowling a beautiful line outside off stump. When he can do it for six balls an over, he'll be a real handful and his figures better than the 7-0-38-1 he ended up with. He was replaced PAJA, who was treated with all the respect his age deserved (and more). His 8-4-17-1 saw him reach 100 wickets 'in the modern era', as he termed it.

A still fresh-looking Goss was supplanted by future family member H-D, who proceeded to spend three overs shopping, taking 3-26. Lucky under normal circumstances, but even more so given that one was to a fine catch by Scott at long-on, the ball having gone up many a mile. Having already dropped two (far) easier chances and been baled out of another by the ever-eager Parrish, the smart money was on an easy two runs.

With wickets falling distressingly regularly, it looked as if veteran spinner Greenhough could be in danger of having driven from Oxfordshire in vain. A decision to spare the opposition any further Hope-Dunbar saw him eventually get a go with two wickets still needed, however. Perhaps out of fear, perhaps out of sheer spite -  we will never know - the Shackleford No.8 promptly ran himself out, his demise brought about by a direct hit from, yes, you guessed it, Simon Parrish at wide mid-on.

When No.10 Palley twatted the fourth ball of Jimmy's next over to the ubiquitous Parrish at square leg, it was all over: Shackleford all out for 122 off 30.4 overs. Had they used their remaining overs, they would have had 42, the same as the Cryptics.

All-in-all, it was a comprehensive victory, helped in no small part by Parrish's fielding and batting. Those that saw him at Headley last season know that he can bowl as well! It was just like having a new Puppy - with talent.

Simon Parrish wins this week's Pedigree Chum man of the match award. 

Bounders 04.07.04
SCCC 178-8 (35 overs)
Bounders 159 - (all) 9 (30.1 overs)
Won by 19 runs
Bounders won the toss

The Cryptics arrived at the Bank of England ground with ten players after Mousinho jnr got a call from Watford FC. Luckily the Bounders turned up with nine, and a girlfriend who fielded for them. It was agreed that their lowest scorer could bat twice in a 35 over contest with bowlers restricted to eight overs. Wright got off to a flier (22 of the first 30) as Hope-Dunbar, the hero a week earlier, lost his middle pole for a duck. Wright's downfall was swiftly followed by Hogben running himself out for nought. McLoughlin made to play sensibly but became the first of four players on the day to be bowled the ball after hitting a six. When Gordon Mousinho became the third duck we had lurched to 53-5 in the thirteenth over. The out of form Seeckts joined the scratchy Cupit and the pair doubled the score, cautiously at first, by the 26th over. Not quite the stuff of Strauss and Flintoff but certainly against the odds. Cupit, previously thought to be Australian, 'walked' on getting the finest of edges to the 'keeper for 35, bringing the hopelessly out of form Ware to the wicket. Sporting his new spectacles and instructed to have a look at the bowling first, the puppy carted his first ball for six. He proceeded to blast a thrilling 34, Scott followed with a more educated 21 and the captain's anchor role ended on 29. It had been a most un-Cryptic recovery.
 
Bounders responded with the whirlwind Spenno Pollard biffing 12 from Goss' first over and continuing in the same vein as they raced to 74-2 in 10 overs despite efforts to starve the big man of the strike. Scott's first ball was lofted into another postcode but his second got the vital wicket as Spenno swept onto his stumps. Tenacious field placing, aided by crafty bowling from Scott and Hope-Dunbar dragged the Cryptics back into contention and the wickets fell at regular intervals even though the required run rate was absurdly low. That McLoughlin made the final wicket fall with a classy run out in the 31st over saved the potential embarrassment of having no real bowlers for the last three overs of the match. The gamble came off.
 
Twice in the match we were all but buried, but we came back to record a memorable win with significant contributions from unlikely areas. Ware kept wicket very well and picked up the Specsavers Man of the Match award.

Tom Ware - a career saved by glasses??

Cobham 27.06.04
Cobham 194-6 (40 overs)
SCCC 71-0 (11.4 overs)
MATCH ABANDONED AS A DRAW

Most of the team and supporters at Cobham - 27.06.04

The day started so well. Dwight didn't get lost, the full Cryptic team was at the ground on time with our biggest crowd of the year (7), the sun was shining and England's overpaid footballing failures had ensured that their game was finally off the menu for a few weeks. Pyjama cricket has now claimed leafy, middle class Cobham and we can only speculate on when the likes of Headley and Tilford will fall victim to the 'no draw' form of the game. It will be a sad day. Even football managed to illustrate the value of a draw last week.
 
Cobham were inserted and initially were cautious, allowing Goss and McLoughlin to bank a few cheap overs. Newland came out of his shell, tonking Goss' fifth over for 15, and stayed out. By the time Goss bowled him with a beauty of a ball in his second spell the Cobham opener had 92 to his name. Teenage sensation (and current England youth football international) John Mousinho broke the opening stand when Hogben took what his wife described as a brilliant catch, despite her being immersed in The Mail on Sunday at the time. The score was 151 when Goss got his man, by which time Mousinho and James Scott had tidily ushered the middle overs past and Hope-Dunbar and Kowalski had done a respectable impression of a fifth bowler. McLoughlin's second spell was sharp and productive. The fortieth over, including eight deliveries and three wickets, took an eternity and will have Ross Greenwood spitting in Sydney as the African finished with 4-19.
 
The teatime plan to make a bold early assault on the target saw Hope-Dunbar promoted to open with license to play his shot. And how he played it, again and again. By the fourth over Cobham had set a long off and two long ons for him but when the swashbuckling Scot middled the ball it cleared the fielders and when he didn't it dropped short of them. The plan worked well and we were well on the way to victory when the second rain interruption became a deluge. Hope-Dunbar was on 53* and Wright had played his part in the thrash with 11*.
 
The Cryptics were robbed by the rain. Duckworth and Lewis would have given us a win but those who had wanted pyjama rules in the first instance decided to call it a draw. Funny old game, cricket.
 
Landmark of the day: Tommy Hope-Dunbar bought his first full jug of beer (the previous attempt having resulted in three pints of shandy).

Platypods 20.06.04
SCCC 131 all out (34.3 overs)
Platypods 135-4 (28.2 overs)
Lost by 6 wickets
 
Pyjama cricket, in this case 35 overs per side, has never been the Cryptics' forte but such was the difference between the teams in terms of sporting talent and youthfulness that we would likely have lost any sporting contest bar sumo wrestling and tug of war. We have to bat first in this fixture to ensure that some members of the Cranleigh schoolmaster opposition meet their obligation to attend evensong. As things turned out they had ample time for a shower and beer before being called by God.
 
The man upstairs had at least meteorologically smiled on our game as heavy showers fell all around on a blustery day, our game was uninterrupted. Hogben and Wright made a circumspect start as they counted the Oxford University sweaters and other garments in the field revealing the fielding side's prowess. They also came up with a novel excuse, that they had difficulty seeing the new ball due to the large amount of gold writing on it. The fielders had no such trouble, catching almost everything and saving runs in the outfield in exemplary style. Andrell (32) made a welcome return from paternity leave, putting on 53 with the newly wed McLoughlin (17) as they tried hard to run each other out. Extras contributed 22, every Cryptic got off the mark before joining the catching practice and the skipper's horror run continued, this time being stumped off a wide in the 33rd over.

 
The total was too small to defend. McLoughlin and Edwards bowled well and the openers had a bit of luck early on. Andrew's dobbers kept control from one end while McLoughlin was saved for a later burst which delayed the inevitable defeat. Brooke-Webb and Scott had a go and with three runs required, Seeckts' second ball was propelled most of the way to Dunsfold to complete the humiliation. 
 
Landmark of the day: Peter Andrew took his 99th wicket since records began, so might just have to buy a jug at Cobham next week. 

Cedars 13.06.04
Cedars 158 all out
SCCC 159-6
Won by 4 wickets
 
A topsy turvy match made all the more interesting by the best efforts of both teams to lose. The Cryptics won the toss and elected to chase a total, batting second looking like the only way to win on a hard and flat pitch. Goss (11-3-28-2) and Edwards (8-3-11-1) continued to enjoy their 2004 purple patch in yet another difficult opening hour for the batsmen. The skipper did not drop a catch at slip until the sixth over and Cedars barely scored a run in front of square.

As in 2002, Cedars made the Cryptic change bowling look good. Blamphin's first over since marriage was a maiden and Brooke-Webb rattled through nine tidy overs either side of lunch, taking 1-31. A grand plan, hatched by Edwards, for Kowalski to bowl an over of bouncers immediately before lunch ended disastrously, taking nine deliveries and costing 14 runs.

With Dwight Cupit wearing the gloves for the first time this year, Graham 'Basher' McLean was able to bowl (7-1-16-2) and he performed a rare Cryptic feat by knocking a stump clean out of the ground to dismiss Phipps, Cedars' top scorer with 40. Inspired (or sympathetic) captaincy saw Blamphin given a second spell. Opening the hutch at once the Ulsterman gobbled up Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail in three overs to end with 3-30. By the end the Cryptics had dropped half a dozen catches but still left themselves a straightforward target.
 
Grindrod, after his second ball duck in the previous week's debacle at Salesians, was promoted to open with Wright. In a trice he was tonking the ball to all parts as if to make a point. Twice dropped, but twice heaving the spinner into the neighbouring cornfield, just watching this innings was a dizzy experience. The tea interval did nothing to slow him down but he finally missed a straight one in the 16th over, on 76 in a partnership of 91. Wright was on 8. Ware, Seeckts and Cupit then tried to even things up by falling on their swords, Wright (24) perished LBW at the hands of an umpire who wanted to see someone play shots and McLean was out skying a big shot. It was left to Kowalski and Goss to see us home from a dangerous 129-6 with Cedars closer than they realised to opening the Cryptic hutch. The pair showed uncharacteristic maturity in securing the victory, apart from one filthy cow shot that Goss fetched from a foot outside off stump.

The bells jingled with three overs to spare, the Cryptic flag had flown for the first time and we had been joined for tea by Tim Lamb, though he wasn't brave enough to watch any cricket.
 
Landmark of the day: Richard Seeckts took his 50th catch since records began, while expressing relief that records are not kept of dropped catches.  

Salesians 06.06.04
Old Salesians 162 all out
SCCC 63 all out
Lost by 99 runs
 
The Surrey Cryptics' 47 week unbeaten run ended with a jolly good hiding thanks to three men called O'Connell and one Nick Potter, a veteran veteran if ever there was.

The Cryptics bowled and fielded pretty well after losing the toss. McLean and Kowalski took the field with water bottles, having spent the previous evening with Andrew McLoughlin on his 'Night of a thousand tongues' stag event. The shotgun groom was well enough to open the bowling respectably, partnered by Edwards whose form with the ball this year is better than his Black Cap countrymen.

Once the skipper had dropped a blistering slip catch in the first over, good catches were taken all round the wicket as Salesian batsmen played a variety of strokes to reflect their lack of confidence in an awful pitch. The bounce was less irregular once the ball had softened but we knew from the start that 150 would be a good score on the day.

Grindrod (11.4-3-33-3) kept it tight from one end while Kowalski, Scott and Ware used considerably greater variation from the other, keeping the runs flowing in the process. Ware's two overs pitched almost everywhere except the cut strip, apart from the ones that bounced two or three times.

With bags of time available, and recognised batting from top to tail, the Cryptics had a sporting chance. Sadly the pink and black beast proved spineless and we were dismissed for our fifth lowest score since the great Penner Close scorebooks disaster of 1991. 

11 reasons for scoring 63

The Salesian bowling was good, but we struggled to 60-5, so 63 all out was quite an achievement. Coincidentally the lowest score on record, 37, was made in the corresponding fixture in 1994. The only Cryptic to play in both games? Pippa.

Landmark of the day, Philip Wright passed 3,000 runs since records began in 1992.

Putney 16.05.04
SCCC 190-8 dec
Putney 126-9
Match drawn

Advocates of pyjama cricket should stop reading now. Their preferred form of the game would have rendered this contest dreary in the extreme, for we were never going to lose once our weighty top three had made a commanding start. 86 on the board when the second wicket fell in the 16th over, how did you guess that Pippa had cried off having been leaped at by a staircase?

Conservative estimates suggested our top three weighed around 50 stone, and the way they scored their runs should have the Atkins dieters among us reassessing their goals. Hogben's 13 set the pace for Hope-Dunbar who thrashed 39, launching the ball into the trees twice while Streeter played some sumptuous cricket shots in contrast. Pete Stewart (right) showed too much determination to protect his average by retiring hurt having hit his first boundary for the Cryptics, effectively making the game ten a side after a Putney fielder had injured himself in the first ten minutes.

Putney pulled a fast one by summoning their man Smally - who took 8 wickets and scored most of their runs last year - as substitute and persuading the Cryptic skipper (who had not played in 2003) to allow him to bat and bowl. Result: he took 2-15 including the skipper for 7. Dare ran Streeter out on 48, something Mrs Dare was blissfully unaware of as she embraced the tall fellow when he left the field. Ever the gent, no harm was done, and his form two weeks after giving birth was an example to many a new Cryptic father.

Debutant leftie James Scott looked classy for 25 and Cupit, demoted to number 8 for no particular reason, looked a couple of places too high for a tortured 14. Kowalski had a go too and Goss thumped his third ball into the trees, thus revealing that he'd learned something from the Tilford tail last year who kept tonking his bowling into the river. Putney's over rate rivalled the 1976 West Indians' so a late declaration put added pressure on the depleted Cryptic attack.

Opening spells from Goss (8-4-5-2) and Kowalski (6-0-26-1) put the lid on Putney's chances of winning so we confidently opened the canteen with Dare and Greenhough who had two catches taken by the wicketkeeper in his first over. Both were taken in front of the stumps, suggesting that the veteran publisher has lost a little pace, but it put us in firm command. Our wicketkeeper was the spritely 'Basher' McLean, on as substitute for Stewart whose injury was so serious that he could not make it to the pavilion for tea. Scott was tidy for 1-23, the wicket being a Hope-Dunbar juggle on the long on boundary and Greenhough ended with 4-40. The ninth wicket fell with four overs remaining but even the returning Goss could not prise out the last man and we had to settle for the draw.

It felt like summer, the Cryptics looked like a cricket team and the omens for the summer were good. Tougher days lie ahead.

Kingstonians 02.05.04
Kingstonian 119 all out (49.2 overs)
SCCC 120-5 (28.5 overs)
Won by 5 wickets
 
A break in the Bank Holiday weekend rain allowed the Cryptics to notch a convincing win on the soggy acres of New Malden. The Cryptic side showed ten changes from the last game, that glorious victory in Sydney just before England's World Cup triumph, but the rusty bowlers were straight into their stride. McLoughlin (8-4-10-2) and Edwards (9-5-7-1) bowled with astonishing accuracy. Pow and Andrew, the most frequent attendees at pre-season nets, took somewhat longer to find any rhythm but swung the ball prodigiously in the helpful conditions. With Kingstonian scoring at less than 2 per over, Wright had his token end of season bowl four months early and the batsmen even made him look good. Debutant Zimbabwean Pete Stewart opened his account respectably, but it was the burly Andrew who took the plaudits with 4-30 from 13 overs. So gentle have his dobbers become that one delivery clipped the off stump on its way to the 'keeper without dislodging the bails.
 
Tommy Hope-Dunbar took three catches behind without threatening to look graceful, Wright pouched two good ones in the gully and then dropped a sitter and, naturally, started to bleed. Pow spilled a couple of dollies but he and Hogben were the pick of the outfielders, chasing, diving and stopping with a zest reminiscent of the absent Ware.
 
Some dark teatime humour led to the skipper and Pippa opening partnership being tried again. They raced to 4 before the skipper got a snorter that leaped from a good length to gully via the shoulder of the bat. Four balls later Hogben quacked his way back for an early shower, Wright soon followed and we were 12-3. Cupit steadied the ship while McLoughlin showed an array of strokes in a sparkling 45. Hope-Dunbar clattered a breezy 25* and David Grindrod got off the mark by hitting the winning run. Cupit's 25 was made out of 107 while he was in and involved him running 11 threes and 10 twos, mostly for other people. Good club man.

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